This weekend I was invited by a Cameroonian friend to accompany him to his village in the West of Cameroon. If I am not mistaken it is called Bakou, however with all the villages and their very very similar names that we passed on our 3 to 4 hour drive I might be referring to one of the neighbouring villages. Nevertheless, let us believe it truly is called Bakou. This weekend was supposed to be special as we were to attend a funeral, with traditional dances, masks and rituals. I was bragging to my fellow white friends that I will experience the African culture as we know it from documentaries and what until know I have not really seen in Douala, thus I convinced Kasia to join me to this exciting trip. Another, factor which seemed very appealing to her was that I told her that my friend will pick us up with his car and drive us there, which meant no bus or taxi drive where one feels like a sardine in a can heated up in the microwave accompanied by some bizarre side dish with several peculiar smells. As you can already guess, wrong, very wrong thought!
Well it started out well, the ride just made us wake up more or less two hours early; however this was more or less my fault, as by now I should know better. If a meeting is at 8:30 a.m. you can be sure that by 8:30 the person will slowly be brushing his teeth. If someone says “I am coming in five minutes” it means “I will see you sometime today maybe tomorrow, if at all.” However, my German punctuality is hard to turn off, thus I have learned to wait! Nevertheless, our ride started very luxurious. We were only 5 people in a 20 year old Mercedes. At least the excuse for being late was very reasonable, as the car had just been repainted. So finally we hit the road around 11. On our way out of Douala, which means one traffic jam after the other, half a meter deep holes making cars follow a slalom race or just giving you the feeling of sitting on a bouncy ball, our friend decided, well why not take someone else along, the car perfectly fits 4 adults on the back seat. Well WHY NOT! Thus our feeling of comfort was reduced drastically and the sardine ride had just begun. The scenery though was very beautiful. We passed one plantain field after the other, mountains of palm tree forests, huge bull caravans (these men actually walk 300 km with their cattle!!!), people selling huge forest rats and fish, many small villages all looking and named pretty much the same and many bridges which, as we were told of course after we passed it, were about to collapse. There was one part of the road which was completely devastated. There was an earth slide which had destroyed the surprisingly well maintained auto route and as we were told had also taken a small cottage with itself killing the mother of the family living there. This had happened several years ago, but of course it has not been fixed yet. But why should a road be fixed if you can perfectly drive over the actual hill and this with a 20 year old Mercedes! We were fortunate that the dry season has somewhat started, because otherwise we would probably still be stuck in the mud today. Another peculiar thing we noticed during the ride, were signs showing a black figure/person every couple of km. After philosophizing what they could mean we were told that these are awareness signs that people have died due to car accidents there. Of course that makes you feel so much better in the sardine car with no seatbelts, racing through mud and holes, and starting to accelerate and surpass the trucks in front every time there was a curve or a hill.
Nevertheless, the last 12 km were very special. There was no road, thus we were driving up a steep hill where you could not recognize anything 2 meters away from you due to the amazing red dust. Everything was red. It seemed as being in an art piece entirely painted fully in Red. If it wouldn’t have been for my back and neck pain increasing by every minute, I would have not minded driving around longer through the dust. Well once the dust was gone we were finally there. As we entered the village we were told by our friend that he is very famous in town and that he is even more popular and loved then the chief himself. One thing you must know about Cameroonians, is that they always feel the urge to show you how special they are and pose themselves in the spotlight. This might indeed impress some people, however on me it has the opposite effect, I am sure Kasia would agree. So our so called friend was immediately reduced to just acquaintance. Nevertheless, excited about the cultural experience we were about to have, I ignored the fact that we were stopping the car every minute to greed everyone who crossed our way. Then once we have driven through the entire village, because walking is an alien term to Cameroonians, we started driving from house to house. This had to be done because our acquaintance had to show his multiple “papas” and “mamas” the two white friends he had. This was getting me pretty upset, but this feeling was quickly reduced the moment I was given a plate of delicious food. An interesting visit was however a little place in the village called Barcelona. It carries the name because there is a health centre which is sponsored by a medical association from Barcelona, promoting an exchange program that sends each month three doctors or medical student from Spain to the village to help out. That also explained the obscure fact why all the children where saying “buenos dias” to Kasia and me. The centre was on top of a hill surrounded by pine trees. It could have been a place in Europe, or as Kasia says also Canada. There was a nice breeze making the climate very enjoyable. We met the three Spaniards, but the orphans were more fun to hang around with. They were all following me as if I was their mother hen, because of my camera and the addiction of Cameroonians to pose for pictures. Funny however, I found a sign on top of one of the doors saying: “pollos anonimos”, which means anonymous chicken:)
After all the visiting and eating was done, we went to the house of our acquaintance’s nanny, where we were also spending the night, to rest a while before the big event in the evening. It was 6 p.m. I believe. The moment we got out of the car a storm made its way up the mountain. We quickly ran into the house and of course the electricity was out as well. This is also why I said before, the dry season has SOMEWHAT begun, not really! So there we were sitting in a dark room with nothing to do. Well, we thought the storm won’t last. WRONG AGAIN! There went our nice cultural and festive evening as we were forced to go to bed at 7, as there was only the other option to sit in the dark living room on a wooden sofa and being starred at, and I really mean starred at! Actually going to bed early was quite a treat, because since being in Cameroon I have not slept long. Of course, my plan of fully resting was impeded by my back and neck soreness caused by the sardine ride and the mattress which just wanted me to be in pain! Even though I kept on waking up since 6 in the morn, I refused to stand up and actually managed to stay in bed until 9 as I could not hold my bladder any longer.
The toilette: All of you please cherish the toilets you have!!! In the morn I went into a small cabin outside the house, which has to entries with curtains as doors. One is supposed to be the shower and the other the toilet. As I peaked inside I could not tell a difference. Both “rooms” had a hole in the floor and a bucket of water (with no hole), and the smell well let us not get too much into details. Well, as I asked before I knew which room to choose. While trying to aim and keep everything within the hole I felt a peculiar bight on my behind. I inspected the room, however could not find anything. Well as nothing really surprises me in this country anymore I assumed and still assume it to have been a big big mosquito.
This of course did not really inspire us to take showers, so we started the day with the same clothes we wore the day before and slept with. I saw that I forgot my deodorant, but then I realized at least I will fit in now and contribute to the sardine ride back home later.
After a delicious breakfast and watching some Cameroonian MTV with the entire family, we head of to the spectacle. I was a bid confused as we were told that the day starts with church, however what a surprise we arrived when it was already over. Finally, we were at the village centre and there were several women dressed in the same fabric, dancing to drum music. Enjoying the sight we were told to go to the church area as there the events highlights would take place. Well let us see… there was a big tent with chairs, and a lot of food! How traditional! Since we just had breakfast and we were disappointed of not getting our cultural feast, we decided to climb up the peak of the hill of the village. It was a 20 min hike at most; however it did make me realize that before climbing Mount Cameroon I seriously need to do some exercise! We finally reached the top and surprise surprise just as we wanted to enjoy the view thick fog blocked the sight. We managed to take a couple of pictures and started to descent.
Having had enough of disappointment and craving for a milkshake at home we pressured our ride to take us home. More or less one our later, and after taking pictures of all the children surrounding us, we hit the road back. This time with 7 people in the car. Normally the back seat looks as follows. The men comfortably sitting and the women squished sitting on only one butt cheek. We refused to be discriminated so we quickly entered the car before the guys, places our selves in a comfortable and somewhat spacious position and did not move as the guys wanted to enter. Well let them have the back pain on the way back. We succeeded. The man next to Kasia desperately tried to squeeze himself to comfort, however we stood strong. You reach a point here were sometimes you just could not care less!
I do not know the rush; however on the way back we were racing even faster through the holes then on our way there. Funny I thought how this car is so stable. WRONG AGAIN! 2 hours away from Douala we had a flat, I am sorry let me rephrase, a shredded back tire. I seriously never have seen anything like it. We look to the left nothing; we look to the right nothing! The guys take out the spare tire and start… Hmmm, from far I was observing them trying to loosen also the front tires. In order to feed my curiosity I finally went to ask and a good look answered the problem. The spare tire was at least 4 sizes too small. WHY NOT!
The plan now looked as followed. Stop a moto driver, give him the too small spare tire, him driving to the next town and exchange it for a bigger tire, come back and hope that the tire fits now. Hehe, I kind of could not really believe this would work out. Kasia and I then decided to leave the guys with their wonderful plan and take a moto to Douala. We pressured the guys by telling them I still had to work and go to the office even if it was Sunday. In real life we just really craved the milkshake! After some convincing the guys started stopping some cars to ask for rides. Then suddenly a man stops in a fairly new Mercedes, however driving in the opposite direction. One of the guys talks for him for 10 minutes and voila he turns around and we have our ride. Seriously, until now I do not know where he was driving too in the first place, as he did not mind to drive back 2 hours to Douala were he just had came from. Well maybe he was just cruising. One of the guys joined us. We could not believe it; we were sitting in a luxurious car, only two people sharing the back seat and with seat belts! We wondered there must be a trick, either he will overcharge us, but then again he seemed to have money, or ask us for some obscure favour as for example getting visas for his entire family to Europe or so. We arrived in Douala and he even drove us to the restaurant, Goodies, were they have milkshakes! Of course, first I did not want him to know where I lived and second I told him that I will be meeting someone from work there before going to the office. He stopped the car right in front of Goodies, wished us a good day and then left… just like that! No harassment, no penetrating demands for our phone numbers, he did not even ask our names! I was shocked!
5 min later Kasia and I were enjoying our well earned milkshakesJ Well what a weekend, so if I was to define this experience as a cultural weekend…
Sardine rides, red dust, visiting all families in the village, being starred at, eating a lot, rain and power-cuts, bizarre bug bites, car problems, making up stories to get ones way. The last point, however, it could also be called psychic call. As we were finally home around 6pm on Sunday, I receive a call from my Boss to come to the office as to finish the work, which was actually due to Monday eve. Well, I was not sure if she really needed me or if I was the only stupid one to pick up my phone. But well, what a better way to finish a cultural Cameroonian Weekend than going to the office and ending up there for 2 hours doing work which my boss is too lazy to do herself!
PS - Pictures will follow!